Duck Speak

"It was not the man's brain that was speaking; it was his larynx. The stuff that was coming out of him consisted of words, but it was not speech in the true sense: it was a noise uttered in unconsciousness, like the quacking of a duck."--George Orwell 1984

President Bush was not the most eloquent of speakers. To those of us who love a gaffe he provided a collection of hilarious and awkward quotes that rival Steve Carrell's portrayal of Michael Scott on "The Office."

I'm certain that Jesus is Michael's favorite political philosopher too.

If there's a classic Bushism this is it... classic.

For all his obvious struggles, I only occasionally doubted that President Bush had a stable, consistent and rational world view. Though I disagree with his perspective on most issues, there was what seemed to be a solid foundation for reasonable discussion and debate with the former President. Too gracious... maybe, but with the guy out of the White House I'm feeling charitable.

More than charity, perhaps it's nostalgia. Nostalgia for a GOP that I could wrap my head around. With the GOP in shambles after a disastrous Presidency and the loss of both houses of Congress--a new breed of Conservative has emerged from the toxic mess that is the Republican party. The breed is not the Neo-Cons informed and led by intelligent, but Faustian characters like Paul Wolfowitz, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld... rather it's a vitriolic movement led by a "Guy who cares enough to ask" and a Governor who so loved her people that she gave-up her one and only term, that she shall not perish at the hands of ethics probes and may make fat bank on a book tour.

I opened with a quotation from 1984. There is no more apt discussion of language and its misuse and abuse at the hands Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin than Orwell's, granted this is an anachronism, but that actually gives me comfort.

It comforts me to know that clowns have performed the same sideshow for generations, and we're still here.

The central point Orwell makes in 1984, in regards to language, is that fools like Beck and Palin string together words, sentences and on occasion paragraphs that have no true meaning. They're but the unconscious syllabic chirps of their orthodoxy. They carry no meaning, express no truth--rather they are a comforting clamor for the indoctrinated.

They speak in "Duck Speak."

The Duck Speak of Beck and Palin paints a world of conspiracy, bizarre correlations, and ire directed at a nebulous "They." The hatred of the "They" provides that emotional catharsis their disenfranchised and frightened followers crave. What exactly this New GOP is afraid of is difficult to pin down--at its core they seem to fear modernity itself. With modernity comes a more open and honest reality of the human experience in all its complexities. Beck, Palin and those like them want is a fictional past, a sort of throw back Disney Reality where the world fits neatly into Good/Bad, Black/White, Male/Female, Straight/Straighter (there was no Gay in this throwback world they envision) and whatever other absurd oversimplified dichotomy you can muster.

Their "Duck Speak" reflects this... they quack and quack occasionally throwing out keywords and phrases that the indoctrinated have been taught to respond to with venom, disgust and fear.

This Beck clip is a brilliant one--he uses keywords "Communism" and "Fascism" (scary/angry words for his aging Fox demographic) oftentimes using them almost interchangeably. If you can follow his argument you're more clever than I am...try to make it to his discussion of the chariot, it's particularly good.

The Duck Speak translation of this... and really you've got to listen to Beck solely in Duck Speak it loses so much in translation is, "Quack quack quack Communist. Quack, quack quack quuuuaack? Quack, NBC. Quack, Fascist. Quack quack I'm losing my mind."

Beck shows his audience how they should feel at each stage.

Audience you should feel:

Superior--that you and the others in the know have this special knowledge

Angry--at Communists

Angry--at Fascists

Afraid--of those who don't get it

Unstable/Crazy--this last emotional cue confused me... until I watched some Tea Party rallies and town hall meetings, the New GOP wants to come across as a unstable and crazy, because it's frightening. Most rational people don't want to deal with the angry and unhinged so it's a strange, yet effective way to empower your followers.

In this nine minute clip he makes no salient point. Identifies no real issues. Illuminates nothing... but I know I'm supposed to be afraid, afraid and angry.

Palin is equally adept at Duck Speak. Check out the sound and fury signifying nothing in this instant classic.

47 Seconds in poor Bill is actually so dazed by Palin's incomprehensible answer he nearly passes out.

Come on now she's making it too easy... The stuff that was coming out of HER consisted of words, but it was not speech in the true sense: it was a noise uttered in unconsciousness, like the quacking of a duck.

Just because your speech takes up time, is audible and made up of individually recognizable words doesn't mean it's an answer.

I've heard pundits on the Right claim that the reason the Left hates Palin is because they're afraid of her... the inevitable response from the Left is the playground, "Am not!"

I'm a political independent so maybe I can be honest and say, "Am so!" I'm totally afraid of Sarah Palin. I think she and Beck represent real dangers. They're dangerous because they're so phenomenally unstable and irrational--yet they still draw huge followings of equally rabid and irrational acolytes.

Sarah Palin totally frightens me. Her mind is a mob of one. She encapsulates the aggression, blind stupidity and irrationality of a mob of people--frighteningly, she manages to do this without the social pressures of an actual mob.

In a twist only the Universe knows the answer to, she has come to command an actual frightening mob as she and Beck are becoming the De Facto philosophical leaders of the Tea Party Movement.

How can people whose only philosophy is crazy talk, man-crying and incomprehensible Duck Speak be the philosophical touchstones for millions of Americans? Imagine the mental gymnastics it would take to glean any clear mission statement from either Beck or Palin. I know Beck has his Principles and Rules or whatever, but they're so vague and broad that I'd wager he picked them up from his kid's kindergarten class at parent-teacher conferences.

And Palin... yes she's "Gone Rogue." But Sarah, how do standard, albeit poorly articulated, GOP talking points equate with your self-appointed Tom Clancy title? Don't you have to do something novel, unique, or interesting to be a rebel/rogue/rabble rouser/rapscallion or any other naughty "r" word you care to come up with?

One need look no further than her insane resignation speech for proof that she and Beck are the unholy mother and father of the New GOP.

Irrefutable proof that Palin practices "Duck Speak" note the quacking at 5:38.

Here's a break down of her speech and its key points.

Support the troops, the troops have sacrficed for our national ideals. "God Bless our Military"... so I'm quiting.

My administration is doing so well... so I'm quitting.

Media victim...so I'm quitting.

Obama bad...so I'm quitting.

Big Brother/Federal Government Bad... so I'm quitting.

Being right is better than being popular... so I'm quitting.

Liberal courts bad... so I'm quitting.

Media victim part 2... so I'm quitting.

My ethics law and ethics standards are applying to me... so I'm quitting.

This job is harder than I thought... so I'm quitting.

Tearing things is down bad, building them up is good... so I'm quitting.

The quitter's way out is bad (5:47)... so I'm quitting (My personal favorite)

Fighting for our state and country good... so I'm quitting.

GOP Talking Points Good... so I'm quitting.

Lame Duck isn't fun... so I'm quitting.

Sarah is a Cyborg who isn't wired to be a Duck (7:46)... so I'm quitting.

----

The body of evidence on this woman so thoroughly demonstrates that she is unable to rationally or logically deal with any issue that I'm stunned she's taken serious by anyone.

The doublethink required to write that speech is second only to the double think that would be required for someone to watch that and think, "Man, she's totally right. What a brave move she's making for her country, state and family by quitting. What a patriot! She's right the quitter's way out is for quitters, that's why she's... ummm--two legs good, four legs bad, two legs good, four legs bad."

The only comfort I have in the phenomenon that is Beck, Palin, Tea Parties and all the associated nonsense is that their hatred for rationality, logic and their inability to do anything other than evoke fear and anger in their followers can't be the foundation for viable longterm movement.

Beck is not a patriot. He's a vapid blow hard posing as a reporter on a network that poses as a news outlet. It's infotainment which has its place, provided the viewers are savvy enough to know the difference.

Palin is not a rogue. The last "Rogue" I knew was Han Solo and he earned his title with a howling Wookie and Death Star debris.

I knew Han Solo, Han Solo was a friend of mine and you Sarah Palin are no Han Solo.

Now that's "Going Rogue."

"Let the Dominoes Fall" Shines with Effortless Genius

The uber-talented rockers return after a five year layoff with a varied and superb work--that transcends their punk rock veneer.

My wife has never been a fan of punk rock. Her main critique of the genre is that, "It all sounds the same--a repetition of the same three major chords." Aficionados may find fault with this analysis, but Punk's history is littered with bands that emphasized energy above technique. Additionally, the genre has also been hampered by its fiercely indy roots... thus, it suffers from a strange elitism that decries "Sellouts" and demands listeners adhere to the mantra if, "If it's not punk, it's shit."

This means that the only Punk Rock most people ever hear is the Pop-Punk garbage of Blink-182, or Green Day. The best and the brightest in the genre are often hidden away like some arcane secret... this brings me to Rancid.

Rancid has never quite fit into a neat and marketable label. Musically there are elements of West Coast and Bay Area Punk, and more particularly Social Distortion and The Clash. The track, "New Orleans" best illustrates this. The song plays out like a love song to New Orleans, but skirts all the cliche and ham-handed tributes that came out in the wake of Katrina. Instead of cliche, Rancid delivers a song that celebrates the city...and with melancholy acceptance the band intones the songs end, "It rained all night--in New Orleans" which in the context of the song sounds more redemptive and cleansing than ominous.

Mix that with Ska back beats and syncopation, and the steel drums and organs of reggae. The title track, "Let the Dominoes Fall" is probably the best integration of this sound into Rancid's unique style.

For Rancid fans the previous two tracks will come as no surprise, they are classic Rancid and true to the bands roots, but like all good bands Rancid hasn't stopped growing. With Let the Dominoes Fall they have introduced a new style... brace yourselves Punk Rock fans. Rancid has gone country.

Before you stroke out don't forget that classic country (Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard) and good modern country (The Dixie Chicks, Dwight Yoakum) aren't all that far idealistically from classic punk, where Rancid is firmly rooted. Both genres have their roots in folk, and pub music-- and deal with the timeless themes of social oppression/injustice and love. Incidentally, for those of you who don't buy Rancid as love ballad crooners I'll refer you to "She's Automatic" and "Red Hot Moon" from the band's 2003 Indestructible album.

The country track may be the album's standout track. That's right, the country track. Written by Tim Armstrong it deals with his brother's return from a tour in Iraq. Rancid, though a socially aware, has always been strongly blue collar group and patriotic... as "Civilian Ways" beautifully demonstrates.

Had anyone other than a pillar of Modern Punk Rock written this it would be rocketing up the Country Single Charts and would serve as transition music for Sean Hannity... thank God Rancid wrote it.

With the album's release Rancid arranged acoustic versions of a lot of the tracks. Initially I was concerned with how the transition would work, but it works brilliantly. In fact I find myself returning to the acoustic version of these songs more often than the originals, the acoustic addition is a must buy. Many of the tracks come off like fabulous Irish Pub Songs, like "East Bay Night."

"Disconnected" is another example of Rancid's sorrowful Patriotism. The song is an extended metaphor, and more proof that Rancid can write a clever and multi-layered song that serves as both a love song and song of social protest.

After a five year absence I'm glad Rancid has returned to the music scene.

Let the Dominoes Fall is without question worth the $14.99 the Enhanced Edition will cost. The core Punk Rock album is not as strong as 2003's Indestructible, that being said the variety and more than ten acoustic tracks make this an essential album for anyone who loves Rock and Roll, Folk or even Country Music.

G.I. Joe a Formerly American Hero

GI Joe the Rise of Cobra the title says crappy cliffhanger and the action indicates a Michael Bay approach to film making... hectic action sequences, explosions and absolutely no substance.

I am a fan. I love G.I. Joe.

For me and millions like me G.I. Joe is more than a comic book, animated series, or host of action figures. The Joe team helped build the lore of my youth. Hollywood has struck again and this summer promises to deliver yet another utterly soulless and strangely politically correct action movie. The politically conscious action movie is still an odd thing to me.

Beachhead is my favorite Joe of all time. Smart, determined and disciplined enough not to shower for weeks at a time as a way to better blend in with his natural surroundings. Yo Joe!

I knew that this movie was going to be a travesty when I discovered that G.I. Joe would no longer be a "Real American Heroes." 

In another example of Hollywood's disdain for any semblance of patriotism, G.I. Joe would now be an acronym for "Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity." So rather than using the obvious storyline of G.I. Joe as an American anti-terrorism unit which it was originally... for fuck sake GI Joe was established "to protect human freedom against COBRA. A ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world." How much more timely and perfect could that be? Timely, smart, and true to franchise roots would make sense--so clearly Hollywood would go a different direction, and in an utterly unfathomable choice they create an homage to the UN with the absurd "Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity."

It's difficult for me to explain how much I hate this name, in fact my response isn't even a cognitive one--it's visceral. My blood boils a little hotter each time hear something about this mishmashed debacle of a movie. To help you understand my reaction, and to come to understand it better myself I'll breakdown the new name.

A quick aside before I break down the name, frankly I'm surprised "The Joe's" (a clearly male name) haven't been renamed the GI Jane's/Joe's/JaneJoes/and various sentient non-human beings deserving of civil rights. Anyone with a passing knowledge of the Joe Team knows that there were men and women on the team as well as various pets. Spirit had a pet eagle named Freedom, Snake-Eyes had his wolf Timber... but because the writers and director of the Joe script are talentless hacks without even a passing knowledge of GI Joe they probably get a pass for being so insensitive as to retain such a clearly gender biased name.

Sexists and Speciesist name aside the Joe's are the good guys--I know this if for no other reason than that in a five word acronym fully three imply unity and togetherness... and we all know whenever people work in groups good things happen.

Global=Togetherness

Integrated=Togetherness

Joint=Togetherness

I'm guessing this will be a team of some sorts.

Operating=Doing stuff...probably cool stuff as it's a summer movie.

Entity=Undefined thing.

Entity is a really interesting addition and probably how Hollywood gets a pass on the masculine bias in the original Joe name--Entity could be male, female, transgender, or other than human. Nice work Hollywood, nice work.

So by stripping the "Real American Hero" from G.I. Joe and coming up with an asinine acronym Hollywood has begun the process of defiling yet another iconic American symbol all in the name of a misguided sense of guilt/national loathing/boredom--mixed with a sprinkling of greed. I can't see G.I. Joe this summer, it would be more traumatizing to my memories of childhood than seeing a geriatric Indian Jones confront ET.

(For Another brilliant example of Hollywood's loathing for the very society that provides them the freedom to be openly hate it, see Superman Returns and the change of Superman's motto from "Truth, justice and the American way" to "Truth, justice and all that stuff." I've included a link so that my wife will believe me that Brian Singer did actually change Superman's motto to "and all that stuff").

Now that my cultural critique is out of the way it's on to the important Fanboy work.

I will say that I like the costume design for the Baroness, Snake-Eyes and Stormshadow. I'll give them credit for that... I don't know about the casting for Destro though, yeah the guy is Scottish but Destro is supposed to be a physically imposing figure. I get more accountant nerd from that actor than imposing arms dealer and international rogue.

The most heinous part of this shit movie trailer is undoubtedly the revelation that the G.I. Joe will basically be a little team of Iron Men. HORRIBLE. Not content with a standard action movie clearly Paramount needs to juice up the Joe Team with bullshit super armor so they can make really good use of their CG budget.

The cool part about G.I. Joe was that they were just really good committed soldiers... they weren't de facto meta-humans. Could any of the Joes take a rocket to the chest, dive through trains or push past cars like mini-twirling Transformers? No, no they couldn't. 

In fact let's look at too Joe standard bearers and look at their original super powers and battle suit augmentations.

Shipwreck's superpower was his beard and his ability to use a prehistoric blunderbuss effectively in combat. His augmented suit was his parrot.


Roadblock's superpowers included speaking in awesomely bad rhyming couplets and his killer Cajun cooking. His augmented suit was his tank top. Tank top man, now that's tough.

No super suits here... just awesome.

Now you know why you should boycott GI Joe the Rise of Cobra... and knowing is half the battle.

YO JOE!

Going Brunette, Kismet, and Ode to L.A

Ode to Los Angeles (for the scientificators)

Oh, L.A. , no more will I hear of your horrors,

Your traffic, your mini-Cooper's and idiot kids.

We will never forget Josh's trip into the field with his science class:

Those scared urban college kids,

Afraid of biker dentists, and diners in the desert.

"Gosh, people probably have GUNS here....let's get outta here, stat!"

And Julie, are you Atilla the Hun of the Laboratory?

(Being pro-death penalty is so not oh-kay.)

On Going Brunette:

So, I decided I needed a change...so obviously, the best way to achieve any meaningful change in one's life is to alter your hairstyle.I opted for the "let's not dye it, but let's "gloss" it brunette. It is so subtle not many people even notice. Meh.

I am a Lucky Woman....

I was just hired by one of the BEST schools in the state, in arguably the best district in the state. The certified salary is better than/comparable to Jackson Hole...Not only that, I will teach again. Gone are the days of pseudo-administration, data crunching, and education research. I long to be back with students. It has been an HONOR to have the position I have, but I need to work with students.

More Bragging:

Every room has a smartboard, a projector, and the school has a staff exercise facility.

Backyard Birds

I've made our backayrd into a bird feeding zone. Josh, Jules names those birds!

Obama, Truth and Emerson

Poet, Philosopher and Political Pundit

Some authors speak to a year, a decade, an era... others are timeless. Ralph Waldo Emerson speaks more faithfully to my soul than any essayist, poet or philosopher. His belief in the beauty of the individual's soul, and the individual's ability to touch on the divine truth within us is more edifying for me than any Psalm. As people see the world through the lens they hold most dear, I thought it would be interesting to look at the Obama Administration through an Emersonian Lens.

For my first piece I've taken an excerpt from Nature and used Emerson's commentary on language and truth to look at some of the more disconcerting trends in the President's young administration.

The excerpt, which I'll be breaking down, reads:

A man's power to connect his thought with its proper symbol, and so to utter it, depends on...his love of truth and his desire to communicate it without loss. The corruption of man is followed by the corruption of language. When simplicity of character and the sovereignty of ideas is broken up by the prevalence of secondary desires,--the desire of riches, of pleasure of power and of praise,--the duplicity and falsehood take (the) place of simplicity and truth. Old words are perverted to stand for things which (they) are not; (like) a paper currency being employed, when there is no bullion in the vaults. In due time the fraud is manifest, and words lose all power to stimulate the understanding or the affections--Nature

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A man's power to connect his thought with its proper symbol, and so to utter it, depends on...his love of truth and his desire to communicate it without loss--Nature

Emerson is saying the individual's ability to share their ideas clearly and honestly depends on how faithfully one is committed to speaking the truth.

This notion could apply to any politician, lawyer, teacher, police officer--any man or woman. Our choice of words and the way in which we present our ideas shifts depending on our audience and subject. This is only natural. However, there are those who through their position, must love Truth more than most, must stand and speak for Truth even if it is unpopular, or difficult. President Obama has such an obligation, particularly given the host of foreign and domestic threats our Nation is facing: Financial uncertainty, record job losses, a Congress that is out of touch and largely complicit with the financial industry, a newly emboldened collection of global villains and despots, nuclear armed North Korea's brazen launch of a ballistic missile capable of hitting both Hawaii and Alaska, Mexico in chaos due to cartel violence, the very real possibility of an Iranian/Israeli war, Iraq, Afghanistan--Obama's challenges are legion.

Clarity of thought, purpose and language is desperately needed--more it is essential to effectively dealing with these challenges. Let's look at what Emerson had to say about language and how President Obama is doing according to Emerson's standard.

The corruption of man is followed by the corruption of language. When simplicity of character and the sovereignty of ideas is broken up by the prevalence of secondary desires,--the desire of riches, of pleasure of power and of praise,--the duplicity and falsehood take (the) place of simplicity and truth--Nature

Emerson notes here that the prime threat to clarity, honesty, and Truth in language is secondary desire. Secondary desire can take the form of greed, power seeking, and love of praise. All politicians tend to allow the secondary desire of getting elected infect their rhetoric. My worry for President Obama is that I have yet to see him make the transition from flowery rhetoric rife with lawyerly equivocations, which shield him from actually being held to an idea, belief or policy.

A President must put aside the perpetual campaign in times of crisis. A President must also be willing to forgo praise for Truth. Both of these are going to be serious challenges for President Obama. From the perspective of armchair psychiatrist, President Obama has always played the role of "Coolest Kid on the Block," his campaign and a fawning media provided him with accolades that must have been intoxicating. The accolades almost always began with gushing praise of his eloquence. Sadly, Obama's devotees and the media have led him to believe that his smooth speaking style is a substitute for substance.

Style is not policy. Style will not move Putin, employ a single autoworker, or wrench financial sector lobbyists from the halls of power.

We cannot afford "duplicity and falsehood" to reign any longer. The Bush Administration led from behind fortified walls from which they'd lob the occasional set of talking points. They'd rewrite history but never allow us to question anyone other than their poor Press Secretary. One week we'd get, "Four legs good, two legs bad" the next "Four legs good, two legs better" and the media would be left to shout impotently at the silent walls.

To this point, President Obama has given me no more faith that things will be any different. The duplicity and falsehood is still there, though it's out in the open. There's no need to dig a moat, when the raiders want you in power. So now the press releases are the same, but rather than Jon Stewart mocking them, he and Anderson Cooper smile at one another on Monday and say, "East Asia has always been at war with Oceania" and on Tuesday, "Isn't it lovely that East Asia and Oceania have always been such close allies?"

In order to save the Nation, and continue the positive human gains made since the fall of the Soviet Union, President Obama must stop the slow decay of truth, end the open duplicity and lead.

Old words are perverted to stand for things which (they) are not; (like) a paper currency being employed, when there is no bullion in the vaults--Nature

It is an extraordinary coincidence that Emerson would use a financial metaphor, particularly one referring to the Gold Standard. Here Emerson is explaining that the language of the corrupt man, though it be filled with old truths, and words that carry power--these words are as worthless as paper money tied to nothing of substance. The secondary desire of power, greed, praise or a thousand other human failings makes any co-opted word no matter how noble... meaningless.

President Obama during his campaign certainly co-opted "Yes we can" among other powerful phrases and words... many of which seemed hollow even then. As of yet he hasn't supported these phrases, he hasn't added substance to the played out rhetoric.

In due time the fraud is manifest, and words lose all power to stimulate the understanding or the affections--Nature

It is my sincere hope that President Obama will take the opportunity history has provided him, and show that my worries were premature, show that he's not a fraud built upon the sand foundation of meaningless rhetoric, media fanaticism, and a increasingly segmented and gullible electorate.

He has challenges, but he has opportunities too. The American People are rightfully livid that more than 3 trillion dollars have been promised in stimulus/bailouts and aid... while at the same time the very people who have defrauded millions of our fellows are enriching themselves, receiving bonuses, retaining their jobs and engaging in a staggering cover up intended to keep the wealthy and privileged in their proper place, while the untouchables like UAW pensioners are expected to renegotiate their benefits despite having contract. As we all know, according to the AIG CEO, we're a Nation of laws and all contracts must be fulfilled... well if the contract gives an AIG charlatan a multimillion dollar bonus that is.

Obama should have no fear that Geitner will discover that he's a fraud... apparently, he was never a regulator.

President Obama could seize upon this or any of a hundred other injustices to live up to his origin mythos of community organizer and friend of the downtrodden. Sadly I believe we're seeing the cracks in the Obama facade.

The "fraud is manifest" and daily his words lose more substance.

El doctor es muy malo! Verdad?

House, where are you when I need you?

I've got a problem.  Not a big one, not a bad one, but a seriously uncomfortable and painful one that may require minor surgery.  That's not the point of this blog though, the point of this blog is that too many doctors, particularly "specialists," are total bastards.

I saw one such specialist today and explained my painful, obviously swollen and life impeding problem.  After the doctor's quick recommendation of surgery, which is a minimum of 2-3 weeks away I honestly expressed my need for help dealing with the pain and discomfort.  Having been raised Catholic (Alter Boy and all) I was always taught that honesty was the best policy so I say to the man, "Okay, I see how surgery is a good plan, but what about the 2-3 weeks before I can get in for surgery?  What can you do to help for the pain?"

The following is an unfiltered, unembellished account of our exchange.

The bastard's response was, "You need to try ibuprofen."  

"Umm, doctor I'm severely allergic to ibuprofen."  

"Really, what happens?"

"I have an anaphalatic reaction... I've been hospitalized twice because of it.  So that's not something I'll take."

"Well what about Aleve?"

"Uh, isn't that in the same drug family as ibuprofen?"

"Yes it is."

"So, isn't it risky for me to take that?  I have anaphalactic responses to ibuprofen, that's not something I really want to mess with.  I tend to enjoy breathing."

"Okay, well.  So we'll schedule your appointment for 2-3 weeks from now."

"Doctor, as I said, this is very painful and can you do anything to help with the pain?"

"Nope."

"Really?  My general practitioner prescribed a mild vicodin that worked well for the pain and didn't make me feel all weird."

"Narcotics won't cure the problem, so they'd just mask the symptoms."

Now basically the conversation ended there.  I was so shocked that I didn't respond how I should have.  I should have told him that pain killers were refined and used just for that purpose (to control symptoms), and that additionally people who abuse them aren't actually in pain and don't have an OBVIOUS physical problem to treat.  A quick lesson... if you're in pain, pain killers don't get you high--rather they make you not want to die.

Oh I forgot, the rat fuck did offer me antibiotics for the pain... Sipro to be exact, an antibiotic that frequently causes tendon and ligament tears.  I asked him what the side effects of Sipro were and he did tell me that it causes joint damage, so I asked if my Tae Kwon Do studies would be a problem given the drugs side effects and he gave me another antibiotic.  So basically, the Specialist was willing to give me an antibiotic that could blow out my knee and cripple me for life rather than giving me a mild pain prescription.  How fucked up is that?

I understand the doctor's predicament in broad terms, they get drug seeking patients all the time so they have to be careful--but take this into account.  I have an OBVIOUS problem, a clearly painful problem and even though it's not cancer or the clap it doesn't mean that I don't deserve to have a descent quality of life between now and three weeks from now when I have my surgery.

I'll be getting a second opinion... basically, I've told that doctor to fuck off.  Any doctor who treats a patient like I was treated is no one I want cutting into my tender bits.

Cheers to my good Doctors:  Mena and Langfelder

Boo to the clowns who treat patiets like cattle.